Writing Wednesday – Epithets

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No, I don’t mean dirty ugly names that you shouldn’t be using anyway– seriously. You shouldn’t be using those. RARE is the time that would ever be okay, even if you have a “bad guy” you’re writing dialog for. SERIOUSLY. CUT THAT OUT OF YOUR STORY–I mean the old school byname epithet:

  • “Rosy-cheeked lass”
  • “Chocolate-orbed boy”
  • “Loose-jawed grandma”
  • “Cinnamon-skinned beautician”
  • “Four-assed beaver”
  • “fish-breathed smaller baker”
  • “fishier-breathed larger baker”

Still not clear? Let’s put them in context for you: Continue reading

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Writing Wednesday – Musical Chairs-Writing Ed.

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Listening to music when I’m writing is tricky: too engaging and I can’t focus on making words. I definitely prefer a groove playing in the background of the trippy-lounge variety. If that music mimics a heartbeat… oh, is that the song for me. It gets my brain rolling, but in a creative-energized way, allowing me to multitask my thoughts and (hopefully) get the words on the page.

Lately, I’ve been reliving my navel-gazing New Wave days of my youth after stumbling across an old favorite CD. And since you know how much I love the Pomodoro, I thought I’d put together some mixes for us that are Pomodoro length. It’s like the days of Musical Chairs: write when it plays, stop when it stops. Easy, right? Continue reading

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Mormon Mondays – The Time I Desecrated The House of the Lord with Hip Hop

This musical is far more accurate than you may realize.

For those of you who know me in real life, it will come as no surprise to know that in 1992 I bought Arrested Development’s first album the day it was released. And it will also not shock you to know that I listened to that on constant repeat, soaking up the positive hip hop vibe of elevated consciousness. If you’re not familiar (how?!) with this quintessential Afrocentric hip hop group from the ’90s, you should know that their music is about connecting spiritually and intellectually with the world around you.

When I was in the throes of religious passion myself, one song in particular stood out to me, and it was like it had reached into my aching heart yearning to understand why I was in Utah, sticking out like a sore thumb while trying to grow spiritually among “my people.” Naturally I tried to share this song with the students in my Gospel Doctrine class one Sunday.

Apparently this was shocking to my blond, white, square-jawed Mormon students. Hip hop? In church? Continue reading

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Free For All Friday

I do this thing every summer where I try and teach my kids how to prepare a complete meal on the, ha, chance they’ll ever go away. I mean, move out.

[Law & Order voice] What you are about to witness is that attempt with my twelve year old.

One Pot Eggplant and Mushroom Pasta

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First, let’s get this out there. You are going to dirty up three dishes, max. A colander, a big, heavy bottomed pot to cook in, and a bowl or platter to hold veggies, unless you’re some kind of weirdo who slops hot food on your counters. If so, then you must be one of my children. Continue reading

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Writing Wednesday – Writer’s Block

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Let me just say this: writer’s block is bullshit. I’m not saying it is like, “it doesn’t exist,” because obviously it does. I’m saying that it’s a bullshit construct in your mind.

And you can kick it square in the baby-making biscuits. Continue reading

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Trade Day Tuesday – Enter to Win a Free Copy of my Book

I’ll trade you a click for a chance to win not only a copy of The Bones of You [link is to an excerpt] but win other free books (a grand prize of every book from 2014-2015 from Interlude Press, even), artwork, toys and more. So much more…

Okay, not so much more, just a little more, but the operative word here is MORE. As in something you didn’t have, and then you DO have. For the low low price of nada. Super duper sweet.

MAKE WITH THE CLICKITY!

Also, next Tuesday (that’s the 22nd) I’ll be on Google+ for a 24 hour Launch Party Interlude Press is hosting for its 2014-15 authors and for you — which is when the prizes will be announced. Want to talk to me at 5am CST while I wear my pajamas, yawn a lot, but get really excited about fandom and writing? Mark your calendar. Or hey, maybe you’d rather sleep in and wait until 11am CST to talk about writing and going pro? Mark…just mark you calendar. The whole day. Mark it. Big ol’ smiley face on the 22nd. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you. (But I would love to hear your questions and chat!)

 

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Mormon Monday – Not Angry, Just Disappointed

(This is seriously the best musical in the past decade.)

(This is seriously the best musical in the past decade.)

Oh, it’s good to be back home after a long vacation filled with lots and lots of driving. While traveling, I was contacted by an old acquaintance, a family member of a good friend from my LDS youth. As you do, we reconnected on Facebook, mutually followed each other, cooed over one another’s children, laughed at funny memes, that sort of thing. I genuinely like this person.

My previous post on my Mormon upbringing and how I look back on that now, however, struck a chord with her, and not in a good way. Specifically, umbrage was taken with me referring to the LDS church as a cult and claiming that many members are “blissfully ignorant.” Offense was taken at that term. And…I get it. Continue reading

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Writing Wednesday – Motivation

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If you’re anything like me, you need something to look forward to. I can very easily feel lost in the shuffle of life, what with the stress of living and doing for other people (this is what it is to be a mother, let me just tell you straight up), and without something on the horizon that’s just for me, a goal, a trip, something, I can get that very small feeling. You know the one, where you could curl up and disappear?

So let’s kick that feeling in the lady box and put some writing submissions and competitions on our horizons! A two-for-one thing, where you feed your soul by stringing together words and you maybe feed your wallet with some earnings. Continue reading

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Mormon Monday – Subtle Cult (And Not So Subtle)

Official Mormon Story of a hot, barely dressed dude (Joseph Smith History 1: 31-32) visiting him in the night and making him promise not to tell.

Official Mormon Story of a hot, barely dressed dude (Joseph Smith History 1: 31-32- naked, exquisite and glorious are used to describe this “angel” of a man) visiting him in the night and making him promise not to tell anyone. Not shady at all, why would you think that was shady??

There was an article in the Atlantic this weekend about an evangelical offshoot with a charismatic leader whose wife committed suicide, which then led into the seven identifiable elements that make a cult.

Naturally I flashed back to my Mormon upbringing. I think the most telling thing I could share is that until I seriously began looking into the church’s history on my own–using outside sources, something that is key that we’ll get into–a lot of what is actually common historical knowledge was an absolute shock to me and to my close LDS friends. Well, we knew some of it, but we “knew” it wasn’t true. Because our church did a preemptive strike to tell us we’d hear things, but that it was Satan at work at to harden our hearts to those lies.

That’s…not healthy. That is exactly how I was raised, however.

Continue reading

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Friday Free For All – Tex-Mex Fest

I’m having a pool party tomorrow, which means I needed to “try out” some recipes before hand. It’s all in the name of science, of course. And everything turned out spectacular. Want a twist on a margarita? Avocado fries? You do, even if you think you don’t. (And if you don’t like tequila or avocados, this is probably not the post for you.)

First up, cocktails! The Pepino Sandía-Rita (Cucumber-Watermelon Margarita.) Alternate name: Snakebite. [sound of maracas]

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I’ve literally had enough of these that I don’t care about the lighting. It’s pink and pretty. But it’s STRONG LIKE BULL.

Continue reading

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